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Halloween fear's BBC Oxford
Halloween fear's BBC Oxford

Episode 3 · 3 years ago

Fear of Fireworks

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

So I want to read the blurb we've got on you and you can sort of stop me at certain points. It says here your Christopher Paul Jones, the breakthrough experts as a new therapist based in Harley Street. That's true, so correct. Yeah, so, and we could talk generally about stuff, but tell me about when you course of the breakthrough expert what particular techniques or how did what's it worth? What are you working with? Well, I specialized in fear, phobia and anxiety. Is My main areas of expertise. So I work in those areas and help people go from being terrified basically to being able to do the things they want to do, whether be, you know, taking the fireworks or getting on a plane or facing a spider or whatever it is that holding them back. Right. So the key, so it says here, Christopher hers help hundreds of people that go and get their lives back. But this is the one that I find interesting. Even cured his own morbid fear of flying to the extent he's able to take a sightseeing flight through the pyrneer is struck to the outside of a helicopter. Yeah, that's correct. Now, I'm not suggesting that as a treatment. So you're probably going to cough me client now, Gaud they're going to take always. Is that what he does to help people get over it? That's not what I do to help people get over it. And Yeah, I definitely recommend you'd make sure your fear of flying is gone before you tackle anything like that. And and I actually I discourage my clients from doing that. So, for example, I had a client the other day. You had a fear of elevators, because he was an American. Right here, I list and he said the hour, welcome the sixth floor, but I have to go to the but it goes up to eighty. And so we worked on it and he said, yeah, I still fine, I'm going to go the eight floor now, and I'm like, well, why don't you start by going to the ten? Check in how you feel, then the other? But everyone, some people are like all on nothing. So yeah, that was that was my approach. I wanted to test my fear with God. So and it had yet I was able to do it quite, quite well.

And I would say, you know, I'd say, even if you don't have a fear of flying, we can structure outside of a helicopter will induce certain that concerns. I would say so. I wouldn't suggest you're necessarily PHOBIC. If you don't want to do that, you just might be more fat than I was. I was gonna say degree common sense in or of this one. So well, exactly and that. Yeah, go ahead, okay, I say so. We're not talking about old fashioner version therapy like that would be. We're talking to know, imative therapy. Well, so it's so what I would I do is a mix of different things. I use a whole range of different approaches, from hitting the therapy to cognitive behavior therapy to mbr, to EFT, a bunch of timeline, theverage, whole heart at the whole range of other things probably never heard of. Button the differences. It's about targeting those triggers. So what's happened when you've got a fear, whether it be of fireworks or, you know the say elevators lift flying, something has happened in your path to create that fear. So that can be something obvious like a turbulent flight when you're eight years old, and in that moment your brain goes this equals danger. And then whenever you experience that thing again in future you're going into the SPIV or response. The fights like a free response, so you know. So, for example, sticking with the flying someone can be told that it's a if they can read all the statistics, but the still that emotional part of them that's acting like the first time they created that fear. It's still creating that emotional response. And when you can go and find those triggers, find those emotions and change the links so the person can no longer feel the fear than they know, the brain no longer has a reference for being afraid of things that it doesn't need to be afraid of, basically, and so that that's effectively the work I do now. Everyone different, so how do you get there? Is Different for everyone, but that's a basically what I do. So it's about so before you had faced you fear. It's about letting go of the emotions you...

...link to it so you don't have to power through or expose yourself, because sometimes I find that makes people a lot worse as well. And then made face of fear. Yeah, yeah, definitely. I think. I think the some very outmoded pycological therapies that are proven yet not to work and because you're using the ECLECTIC approach, when I use that word in integrated aproach. Yes, eclectic a yeah, integrated is a good, good name to it's what I call it. Yeah, so it's yeah, and I think that that's also the key with when someone has just even if it's a modern therapy, someone has just one therapy in either works or it doesn't, rather than basing on the dip. So some people are thinking pictures, some people are very visual in the way they imagine. Some people are much more analytical. So you need to be able to work with that person where they are. Yeah, and I say somethings aren't. Aren't director really elated. So sometimes I find they someone who tack goes through traditional Hito therapy for fear they'll go. Will now imagine that thing and notice how much more relax your being and that's better than facing it. But if, but that might not be the cause. So, for example, it's going to flying. Let's go back to flying. If you go back to a fear of flying, it may be, like I say, a specific event like turbulence when you're young, but it may just be a feeling of being out of control, not liking that feeling be out control, which you later in life linked to flying. So you need to be able to target what it is, what exactly caused it. As it might, it's not always directly relevant as well. Yeah, that's that's what it's like, an overgeneralization of fear responds to other things. Yeah, I guess exactly exactly and comes and the other thing is, of course, the fear of the fear, which is when someone's spent so long being afraid of this thing that just the thought about the build up that it might happen again in future is also setting someone up. So they almost have two phobias, the phobia that they might have the phobia you know get, which is also very interesting. So what I mean was it your own phobia that led you to work with phobia specifically, because I should have done...

...it before you since became specialist, you were yet in general areas, I guess. I mean, I still do do other things as well, but the reason, yeah, the reason I pick that as a specialty was because it was, it was one of the areas that I had a lot of fears and in really, and so yeah, that's how I got through it, because it's, I think, when you've been there yourself, it's easy to understand. I think someone who doesn't have a phobia tends to go where you can just just get over it. You know, way've being so filly, but it's in a rational phobia. It's in the title. It's not rational and phobias aren't created true logic. So they're not sold true logic, excrected through an emotional response. Yeah, totally agree, and I think it's that idea of the the fact that you know, the phobic response put into a lot of context, is makes perfect sense, Dodn't it? Because you're saving yourself from protecting yourself from something that's out yeah, but the generalization of that from here, and that's the point. The other thing I would say that, however, however a logical something seemed, it is meeting on the subconscious level. It is trying to meet the need. So most commonly with fears and phobias it's some form of trying to protect you. And I know that Contra Tutor when you look at it logically, but the subconscious, unconscious mind doesn't work on logic, so it works on emotion exactly. So if somebody this week the press of least was talking about your photophobia and the sort of fire fire phobias which is going to be pretty approbles some people this weekend. Hello, yes, that's it. Yet can he? Yes, okay, yes, I thought we do here. So the yet. Yes, we can. What can somebody do to help themselves immediately before they seek your longer term support? Yeah, well, obviously PHONEOPHOBIA's fear of loud noises and Pyrophobias a fit of fear of fact. So obviously a bum fire night you're going to get those. Those are going to be the worst. I think you know the fear of loud noises, phonophobia is, is one of the ones that instinctively, you know, we are taught to avoid very loud makes...

...noises because, you know, earthquakes and things. That sort of our primitive brain designed to do that. I think normally, though, it's going to be exacerbated by being made to be jump when you're a little. So I went to a fire with this play and you're a bit TV young to be there and you would terrify. That may be quite common. That's going to create the fear in you. So the key is it, as I said, saying with any phobias is to find out what was it in your path that triggered this event, you know, and what do I ask yourself, what do I need to believe in order to feel this way? Right? What do I need to believe about fireworks or about this loud noise in order to feel that way? I need to believe of that I'm I'm, you know, in danger or I need to believe that. And again, it probably won't be logical, but just write that down and then it's about changing the emotions. So the simplest one that everyone talks about, just taking deep breath, is in the moment, if you just breathe and sent to yourself. I do have, if I can give myself a little plucky, I have lots of free youtube pips which cover a range of different processes for removing your phobia, or reducing at least, and some are for a dealing with in the moment and summer, going into the past and finding the records. And they're on my youtube channel, which is break to expert TVCOMANS, and I ought to have a few audios that can help people as well, both of the phobias and anxieties which available on my website, and that's because don't know what I would recommend. Go ahead. Your website is Christopher Paul Jones dotnet. Yeah, that's correct. Yeah, so you can download the audios there. But basically, if you wanted a technique, anything that where you try and do two things at once. So if you're trying to think of your time, you couldn't start laughing while trying to experience your fear. It's very hard to do because that once it is so, you know, so it's so. It's things like that and what's called crocolasterial stimulation. Why? Any techniques like that will help reduce your fear. Kind of two things.

That starts the immediately, going back to the very first thing you said about the phobia people deal with themselves. One is to try and identify the initial sensitizing events. Then it will be in to start. The second one was to identify what that what they're really frightened over, things you said or what the fear is, the feelings around that. Yet what did? What do you believe in all that's right way? Will ever say yeah, so, yeah, what's what's? The first one may not be directly accessible because of all the unconscious stuff that's going on the second one, and that way the therapy kind of things that, yeah, you relax the conscious mind or mind from the techniques where you can relax you. So go ahead. Yeah, but the second one is immediately accessible, isn't it? What are your beliefs around the fear in order to create that? We actually it's a really useful and I think that's a very powerful one. So and okay, don't know, so if you carry on, I was going to say one of the things I always take to my clients is in people go or I don't want to feel afraid, and I go, well, whose emotions are they? Because, while it may be subconscious, you do something with your thoughts, with the pictures you make in your head, with feelings you're having, the body, with the way you breathe, in order to feel good, and you do that to feel bad as well. So there's a whole strategy for feeling scared and the whole strategy for feeling good. Now, obviously, coming in your path happened to trigger that, but it's noticing. What are you doing internally to to fire off all those feeling right? Totally get very interesting, very interesting work as well, and I think it's you. Yeah, will certainly direct people to your your website and your youtube videos if there's softing. Thank you very much. They can contact you for private supportive they need that. Yes, they can. Yet well, I do offer a three thirty minute consultation as well for anyone who who thinks I might be out to help them or right would be interested in working with me, and that could be found on the website. It's fantastic. Will make sure we put that out for you. It's as they also you like to add, because I know it's a bit of a rush conversation and sounds not to be brilliant on...

...at your in perhaps, but is anything we've missed that you could mention? I mean I coming to my mind right now? Yeah, not particularly. I mean I could go into it. I could go in differently tech me as as I could took about my I say my favorite is what I called the Harry Potter go. Yeah again, kind of yeah, we'll wad to talk about this. How much time do we have? The very quickly, quickly, good, the Harry Potter. Have some? Do we have? But Farther? So that okay? Oh, that's fine. That's right. So I started to say before that in order to feel a certain way, we need to make pictures in their minds. We need to feel a certain thing, we need to have a belief, we need to say something in our head. So if you think of the Harry Potter I going to think movements, but a lot of people have read the books as well, where you have the ridiculous spell, so that spider goes from being terrifying to be on roller scape. Yeah, Gott, if you do that internally, that page and key feel so you might imagine that picture of you to going, you know, Oh, I'm scared if ID for you're making the picture of the plane crashing. Right, okay. What would happen if I made that picture of small and Black and white? What would happen if I made that picture like a symptons cartoon? Right, what would happen if I imagine Betty Hill Music or actually played Benny Hill music as I was taking off on the plane in my head? Those kind of things? And we need to rupt those internal patterns. You completely change how you feel because you can your subconnstry's mind can no longer be afraid, and when it's no longer afraid, it can no longer think danger to that totally makes sense to me. Actually NLP trainer. So what you're saying makes a lot of sense. You you know that? Yet I you know. I got you were you had an n LP background by the fact you said in the shall be senseizing event, and that's not common English speaking. Take you would know that technique as what called logical level, logical levels, and yes, it would definitely and I think, I think, what I find interesting talking to other therapists about this is that we have a talk kit doing not of things that we know that it...

...work for us. They may not belong to any specificular discipline, but when you put them together intergect where you work for the individual. Yeah, and that, I am an I'll be training as well. I kind of that. I picked up on that because of the frame you've just used. A lottle modality shifts. Said, yes, that's good. We could have a whole NLP conversation. It's a and and a lot of a lot of the very fat phobia changes, like anchoring and and what's called the fact phobia. We play it backwards and logical levels and timeline therapy, those kind of things are all very powerful for disrupting a phobia. Yes, they are. There's the question, and this is a will. This is a geeky question, but because I'm talking to a long practitioner, there's the issue some signs of what is often called secondary gain of a behavior. Yet well, this is, this is, this is certainly with anxiety. This is the big thing with anxiety. Is the belief. They're as they say, that that's really so sub everything is meeting in need, as I were saying before, on some level, however, a logical, however irrational. Now. So, yes, in therapy, they caught in enop and in to behavior therapy and other psycholok therapy they call it. They call it secondary game. So this is the subconscious belief holding onto this. Now what a lot of so this could be something really strange like, Oh, when I was afraid, I got a hug. So it gives me significance. Yes, or it can be something as simple as, like I was saying, of the simplest level, this keeps me safe. Vah keeps me safe. And so yes, that is important, certainly with anxiety conditions. Very often there's a secondary gain to holding on to that. I this is the event that happened in the path where the person didn't feel safe. So they create this anxiety because they're they basically are living in fight flight or freed and then that becomes overclock. So the world is a dangerous plate. But didn't let you teach the subconscious...

...mind that there are more, more ways to behave than just this one? It will carry on. So just trying to target the trigger without dealing with the secondary gain, it won't work because the subconscious mind is going to how will I be safe? How will I exact? So you have to give the subconscious mind more choice, which is where different sort of hypnotic processes come in for that. Yeah, and that's where you'll probably will need the help of somebody experienced in the therapy and the delivery with the yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not a selfhelp with so with a strip yet yeah, exactly. there. If you have a fear, you can do those techniques in the moment. You can do scrambles if it's a deep rooted anxiety, but you definitely need to definitely what you call your Lynch pins, holding up easterly system. Yeah, and you definitely need to work on those first before tackling, before scrambling, those patterns of behavior. So thanks for that conversation. I've enjoyed this conversation. It's Chris Paul Jones. You're welcome. Tell call you. Chris. You're okay with the work, you can call me crap. Yeah, okay, Chris Paul Jones, the breakthrough expert w dot Christopher Paul Jones dotnet. You've got breakthrough expert TV as a youtube channel. Yeah, what's okay? Thank you very much. Thank you buy.

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